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So I turned in an application for a local drug store today, and I got a little card with a number to call for an automated pre-screening process. The guy appeared to give a shit about my existence and my ability to aid in the store’s profit-turning process at least a little.

Okay, that’s progress.

I called the number and, after asking for my general information, I was asked the standard rundown of repetitive ethics questions. I never liked those because, besides the fact that you have to be unnaturally introspective and honest about yourself, they ask the same question several times in a row in several different ways. For example:

“Have you ever planned on committing a crime, even if you didn’t do it?
…
“Was there ever a time when you thought about doing something which, if you had done it, would’ve been illegal?
…
“When, in the course of human events it becomes necessary to steal, wouldst thou take part in said pilfering at the expense of thine employer?”

Okay I made the last one up. But you get the idea. I guess they do that to check your consistency and how much you’re paying attention.

The machine on the other end of the line hung up on me after a long pause when I was finished. I hope everything went through alright.

Any day now, failing free-market…