Tiger Woods’ Wooden Apology

Get it? Eh?

So he waited JUST enough time for his stories to quiet down nicely, then he pops back out to go
“I-AM-SO-SORRY-BEEP-BLOOP-BLORP-DANGER-DANGER-DANGER” in a Presidential-looking press conference. Except without the press. Or the conferring. He threw some Buddhist stuff in there and looked the entire time like a President instead of a Blasian golf player.

That’s right, “BLASIAN.” Black-Asian. Blasian. Bitches.

Full apology. Warning: boring.

It was pretty awesome. I’m glad we can all have some immense fun and lols at his expense. Even if he did lose his endorsement deals. Like all of them.

What am I even doing right now? Oy vey.